She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
