did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
