I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
