College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
