Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
