i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
