remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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