I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
