At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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