i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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