Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
