If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
God, I missed his penis.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
