I feel great
I just peed on a car
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
