I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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