Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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