grandma shit on top of the toilet
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
