the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
