She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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