dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
whose ass print is on the piano?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
