what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
