Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
