I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
