I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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