There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
