I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
