U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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