Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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