I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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