i already hear my dad disowning me
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
