Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't deserve a penis
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
