I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
where are my eyebrows?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
