We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
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