I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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