Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
