It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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