when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ketchup is God's man juice
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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