SEEEEXXX PLEASE
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Randomize
