Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
