omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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