32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
