Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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