AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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