this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
