Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
