There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
