can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
