on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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