You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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