let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
