Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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