the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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